I wanted to die, I wanted to live, I wanted it to be” is an ongoing project which explores themes of grief, loss and memory, an open-ended and unresolved link between the past and the present. Following the bereavement of my mother in 2016, I have struggled with accepting the void felt by her absence and the sheer magnitude of this life altering event. The work seeks to visually open the boundaries of two of the most sensitive topics: death and the subsequent suffering of those left behind. Primarily shot on film, the work is imperfect and flawed in places. A reminder that photography, like life itself, is fragile, and that memories overlap and degrade over time.